Image from here

This matter has been in my head for quite a while. And I’ve been trying to contain it, but I think it’s time to let it out.

Some of us humans, women especially, are quick to believe and adopt hogwash. We advertise these beliefs through memes. Sometimes, I check my BBM updates and I see all sorts. “A woman deserves a prince that will cross seven seas and seven oceans for her”, “If you don’t bow down and worship your woman every morning, she will walk away and find another man who can”, “It is the duty of men in life to make you happy, and if he is not doing that, dump him”. These are exaggerated, but you get my point. In fact, let me show you some of the memes I’m talking about:

This one is mild, even



When I see these kinds of things, I either want to call up the contact and yell “bullshit!”, or ask them if life has been stressful lately. But maybe the problem isn’t the memes. I think it’s about how we think and perceive things. I believe that if we just take a second to consider, think again about those things, we would not be so quick to adopt them. Why should we constantly expect and demand things? Why is our worth and happiness dependent on another human being? I’m not advocating tolerating jerk behavior, but really, if you’re expecting one person to do and be all these things to and for you, what will you do for yourself? And what will you bring to the table? Your happiness must be something that comes from within yourself. My problem with these things is the use of “every woman” and “deserves”. Like these things should be handed to us simply because we’re women.

Because, you know, his purpose in life is to serve you

The one that made me speak finally is this one:

Only part hogwash
Only part hogwash

At first glance, you nod and agree and maybe even smile. But take a closer look. This is a half-cooked kind of egg. You are not strong just because you know your weaknesses. That’s like saying “there’s a sore on my toe, but it’s healed because I know there’s a sore”. Yes, you need to know your weaknesses. But sometimes, all knowledge does is make you roll around in the mud of your own inadequacies, and use them as a cop out and excuse for irresponsible or inconsiderate behavior. We start to say things like “That’s just the way I am”. The first step is knowing, then accepting, then adjusting what needs to be adjusted.


  1. A very thought provoking piece but I guess some ladies use such memes not because they don’t have anything to bring to the table but because they have so much to give that they know they need to have standards.

    1. And I agree that we need standards. But I think some of these expectations are one-sided and unrealistic. Balance is key.

  2. The popularity of such memes and rants lie in their appeal to the primal human emotions , its quite sad but its quite true too. Sigh.

  3. LOL!!! Ope please stop it.

    Bukky!!!! so true. I love this. Self love is everything. We should constantly be thinking of always improving ourselves. That’s my goal in life. If the man comes along and wants to improve together, GREAT!

  4. This kinda memes are hilarious and petty. I want to think this bs should only be believed by teenagers and yes they are due to reading all those romance novels and its ilks.I sure had these same fantasies as a young girl who read plenty of “novels”. Now, I have reality. U go fear standing in the rain and shutting u up with kisses now. I like this post Buke, quite insightful.

What do you think?